Monday, September 04, 2017

Hello World

It is so refreshing to revisit your blog, your published and unpublished words

I think I have said this before - but it's like visiting your long lost friend. You have a broad smile pasted on your face that you can't quite explain

Anyway

Have I changed ? Am I the same impulsive, insensitive, unthinking, judgemental moron that I used to be?

Pretty much yeah.

I have managed to acquire few more wonderful traits.

There were times when the question 'what do you really want with your life?' would really hook me up.

It somehow doesn't happen anymore. I don't think I agree that this is a sign of maturity. How can lack of drive be a good thing? Or perhaps maturity was over rated all along anyway.

Its like becoming numb. Few more years and I will start worshipping this.

Wtf, this doesn't even stir me anymore.

My work aside (which is going nowhere btw - being stuck in middle management and all), I do want to take up writing more seriously. Like serious seriously.

There are still signs of life left I think. I should start sowing season before it's gets late, way too late.



Saturday, May 28, 2016

Right and Wrong

At one point you are just tired of your dilemmas.

The rights and wrongs you create in your head, the two sides that you never choose, the ones you create to create an illusion of decision - all of them - just start sounding trite

You are just numb. 

Once in a while your value system needs a recycle.

A brand new set of Gods, a shining new Devil.

For if there was nothing to choose from - what would be the purpose of this life?

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Hate Story

We are what we hate. The deeper the hatred, the deeper has to be understanding, the more you are what you hate.

With hatred - we just tear ourselves apart. Trying to kill a part of ourselves.

I guess love is no different.

Is one better than the other?

Both bring you to understand youself better.

Ambiguity must be the real evil.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Movies

Was going to start watching 'Eden Lake' tonight. Got impatient as usual and read the spoilers .. And am I glad I did!

It's quite interesting that we reject movies as bad calling those unreal. Come a movie that's close to reality - at least for some - and you would never watch it.

We like to be reminded in movies that what is defined as 'good' always wins - this is nowhere close to reality

We live in a strange form of dissonance with reality

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Mistakes

Many.

I have acted on my impulses, have said and done many stupid things.

I have also taken some very good decisions (which might look like mistakes later, of course)

But overall, I am glad at what has happened and what I have gone through. And once you think about it - the things don't look stupid anymore. They are just what they are.

There are days like these when you feel prophetic. You only wish there were more of such days.

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Easier to write post than its title

I read my posts and drafts after such a long time. Honestly, the first thing I felt was being at home. It's like meeting a long lost friend again.

So let me record something for posterity.

When I want to write something, express something that is a true representation of what's inside - I am at loss of words. There are so many things running through your head and none of that is really you.

How are things going?
As your body clock ticks you realise - more everyday - no matter how much you wish you can pass through the wall by just running through it - it isn't going away. And that you need support of all kinds to climb it. The question of why you need to climb it still remains. It's probably the reason you exist. Or it is probably not. And while I continue to dwell in the question - the wall is growing too, brick by brick, everyday.













Sunday, December 23, 2012

It works, of course

Just downloaded this app and it obviously works. One can blog from phone.

Now that I am at this, let me write about something that's very important:

I go through bunch of thoughts while thinking of saying something important, pertinent, real and all that. End result is usually nothingness, which is part of the reason why I have more drafts than posts.

I am foolish of course, but (partial) anonymity helps ease confessions.

I think I refuse to accept conclusions no matter how legitimate they sound. I think refusal of acceptance has more to do with refusal rather than legitimacy. There are some wheels in my head that need to keep whirring and all this jumping is a by product of that movement.

It's like explaining why you like to chew when the real reason of chewing is your jaws being tied to a piston of an engine.

I am hypothesising of course for I don't see a piston. Also, this a thought I will forget by next post.